I will never have the children I dreamed of adopting- But I do have the children God planned for me to adopt. So I will adopt new dreams for my family and children. I will never be able to be the mom I want to be. But I am "their" mom So I will be the mom they need. I will never have a "normal" day - one without meds, doctor appointments, therapy, IEP meetings. But I do have normal moments. So I will learn to savor the moments and take each day as it comes I will never be able to assume my children can follow the simple rules, act appropriately, understand the consequences of their actions, or be safe. But I can surround them with a support system who will think for them, remind them of the rules and consequences, and keep them safe. So I will be their external brain. I will never know what my children could have been. But I can celebrate the wonder of who they are and what they can become. So I will give them all the love, support, encouragement, and the tools they will need to become productive adults. I will never be able to change the fact that the birth mother drank during her pregnancy. But I can forgive. So I will not condemn, pass judgment or hate her. I will never forget the damage that alcohol has done to my children's brains. But I can make a difference for another child. So I will share my knowledge and experiences as often as I can. I will never see another child screaming in a store and just assume he's misbehaving due to poor parenting. But I can sympathize with the stress and frustrations of meltdowns. So I will smile and offer words of encouragement and support to the mother. I will never hear another horrible news story about a child in trouble with the law and not wonder - was he FASD? But I can pray for them and their families. So I will pray for the ones in the news and the ones we don't read about. I will never know a bigger joy than watching my children master a new goal, remember a rule, or sleep thru the night. But I can lower my expectations of them and myself. So I will celebrate with them every mountain climbed and hurdle crossed. I will never have a day that is not wholly consumed with the results of a woman who drank during pregnancy. But I can raise the community's awareness, education and support of this totally preventable birth defect. So I will. So I will.