This seems to be a pretty constant refrain ... "It's not fair!" The fact is, it's truly not fair. No one should have to live in this hell of fear and pain and frustration. No one should have to have uncontrollable rages and no friends. And no one should have to watch the children they love being tortured like this and be sooooo helpless. It's not fair that we've had to learn how to comfort children who see things that frighten them so badly, when we see nothing, and it's not fair looking in our children's eyes and being frightened by the reality we do see. It's not fair that we have to spend hours each and every day researching our children's disability, because the doctors don't. It's not fair that we spend a good part of every year educating people about our children, knowing we'll just have to start all over again next year. It's not fair that our children are not welcome at church, at school, at the neighbors or grandparents house. It's not fair that we have to start teaching life skills at 4 so they'll have them almost mastered at 24. It's not fair that our children can't be children and do all the fun things, like spend the night at a friends house. It's not fair that even when you invite the entire class to your child's birthday party, you know no one will come. It's not fair that our children have to learn to survive with sleep deprived, emotionally exhausted parents, but it's a fact of life. I try to find a good side to this. Something that others miss, that we receive as a benefit from our children. There are a few things we can rejoice in with our children: the innocence, the joy in learning something new every day, even if it's the same thing they learned yesterday and the day before, the fun of mud puddles that doesn't fade at 8 or 9. But when it all is factored in, all I can do is cry, "It's not fair!" and ask God why and know the answer will never make sense. "It's not fair!" People say life's not fair, but our children have never had a chance at life as most people know it. I look at my daughter and want to scream and cry and reach into my brain and share some cells so she can find peace.... Da** it!!! It's not fair!