She Ran Away

She ran away.
Am I out looking for her?
I pray that she returns safely,
But that is all I can do.

She is 18.
I think she took her key with her,
nothing else.

This is not the first time.
Last time she went to the home of an acquaintance
and told them lies.

The time before that
she went to a friends house
and told them lies.
She was younger then,
she is gone longer now.
4 1/2 hours.

I am going to put locks on our bedroom doors.
Two weeks ago she stole my engagement ring
and my diamond wedding band.
She did not do anything with them
just took them to school
to show off.
Did she bring them back and put them away?
Dah, no.
This week it was a pair of my shoes.
Of course she denies having anything to do with the shoes.
I pinned her on the rings.

Well, tonight she was supposed to go
to an Nsync concert with her older sister in Philly.
When I told her she could not go,
she left.

I let her go to the senior prom after the ring incident.
I did not want to ruin the boys night.

She does not learn.
I want her to leave
(she did)
and not come back.
(feeling guilty for thinking it)
I don't know what I want.

Like many of you I have my own health problems,
work stresses,
life in general
and Jenifer.

I am doing my best to stay calm
and not worry too much.
We live in a quiet residential development.

Unless she went to the highway.
I don't think so.
she would be scared.
But I don't know anything,
she takes two steps forward and three back.

I started calling her friends at 9:30
and lo and behold
I found her.
She left my house,
walked to the school around the corner
and asked to use the phone.
She called her friend Jessica,
and asked her to come and pick her up.
Jessica did.

I called and told Jessica's parents
she is a thief and a liar.
I told Jessica unless her parents want to keep her
she has to come home with me.
In the car on the way home,
I told her
if she has to go back to the psych hospital,
she will not be on the children's ward this time.
but with adults.
That is where she is heading
or jail.

Such is life in the FAS Lane.

by a mother, June 18, 2001
Grieving the Loss of the Dream