Silent Scourge

this weird wonderful yet terrible journey 
through what someone last night called
The Silent Scourge

another parent
dealing with the same horrific nightmares 
of neglected, injured, maimed and missing kids
yet like you and me
somehow able to pick through this disaster
find the good in the human beings
the hope in babies...

in my grandkids
I see our daughter, 
then a chunky baby
so much zest for living
such innocence, such trust
knowing the battles that you and I
and so many others have fought
will not have been in vain.

my grandkids have a chance
our children didn't

she fights so hard, my daughter
every day
up at 5:30
to get her kids to daycare
herself to a job
walking dogs
picking up dog poop
scrubbing kennels

at the end of the day
her face is grey from exhaustion
as it was when she spent the day
making upscale hamburgers
singing songs while trying to remember
did the customer want dill pickles, 
mustard, alfalfa sprouts, 
and was that burger done enuf?
they fired her at the end of a month
and she sobbed like the
6-year-old version of herself
who couldn't tell a p from a q 

things we take for granted
knowing that 
if the rent money is blown on fast food
it will be quickly gone
she fights for every day 
and often loses
but still can smile and say
"I love you, mom..."

by Bonnie Buxton, August 21, 2002
Grieving the Loss of the Dream