I Sit and Watch

I sit and watch my 14 year old daughter doing maths.
my heart breaks that she can´t take 4 from 5 without using her fingers.

I sit and watch her reading her homework, 
and realise that she reads like an 8 year old.

I sit and watch her pick the skin off her feet,
and know she won´t limp with the pain of her wounded foot.

I sit and watch her, like a swimmer out of her depth,
when she´s confronted with girls her own age.

I sit and watch her come towards me, head down,
so that no one will notice her FAS face.

I sit and watch her, arms crossed over her chest,
to hide the signs of womenhood on a body out of sinc with her brain.

I sit and watch her, standing alone,
watching other kids having fun.

and then...

I sit and watch her complete a horse riding event,
where girls older without FASD are disqualified.

I sit and watch her get 11th Place from almost 50 competitors, 
and my heart swells with pride.

I sit an watch the smile on her face,
as a Rosette is pinned on her Pony,
and I want to shout out loud,
"That is MY wonderful daughter!

by Ann Gibson, September 22, 2002
Grieving the Loss of the Dream