What Do You Think?

Called doctor,
Will cut back on son's meds. 
But also talked to MY theripist. 
which I have home number for. 
She doesn't want me to go to prison either. 
Nice lady. 
Don't ya think?
She believes, 
that when son acts out is because 
he is doing something, he shouldn't be. 
And I haven't found out yet. 
So is stressed, 
waiting for the other shoe to drop. 
so to speak. 

His teacher is new and doesn't know him, 
So isn't in tune to his abilitiy, 
to do things without her seeing. 
Called school, 
and he hasn't been taking his meds at lunch. 
He has been telling them 
he didn't get breakfast agian. 
Just like last year. 
But they won't let him charge breakfast. 
Cuz know I won't pay for it. 
And have told them many times. 
He only goes with out breakfast, 
if he won't get up in time. 

This morning. 
He went to take shower. 
Heard water running. 
He then comes out, 
And says K, mom ready, can I eat? 
Well, hair standing on end. 
Sleep in eyes.  
So tell him, 
I don't believe you took a shower. 
Oh god........ Here we go again. 
Scream, yell, throw self on floor. 
Why can't you believe me. 
So explain hair, sleep in eyes. 
Hair isn't even wet. 
He dried it. 
With what????????? 
Hair dryer. 
I didn't hear it run. 
Well cuz he had it on low. 
Son get in shower. 
Throw another fit.
Takes shower.
K, can I eat now.
Well bus comes in 4 minutes, 
and you don't have time.
and again fit.
Make your bed brush your teeth.  
He makes bed. 
By pulling spread up, 
hanging off side of bed,
sheets crumbled at bottom of bed. 
So back to make bed, 
Now here comes bus. 
(He rides special Ed bus, for obvious reasons.)
So she waits. 
Then he comes out while I am explaining 
Why he will be a few minutes. 
I give him hug and kiss. 
And tell him I hope he has a better day.
And can't wait to see him after school. 
(ok.... little white lie).  
Come in... and his bed is over turned. 
Blankets and sheets thrown everywhere.
????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ODD?????

His brother, 
who shares room with him, 
cuz I don't have room to give them their own rooms. 
Comes out of shower and asked 
what the heck am I doing?? 
Tearing up his room. 
Wait, I didn't do this. 
Never laughed so hard in a long time.

Have daughter home fake sick today. 
But know...
when her brother is like this, 
she is sooo upset she is always having a belly ache. 
So argue with her about go to school, 
she is cring, so told her fine, 
go to bed.
But I don't want to talk to or see her 
the rest of the day. 
And don't even think about playing 
after kids get home from school. 
Gave her spelling words to write and study. 
And 2 books.
I expect a report by bed time. 
I know I gave in.
But I don't have the energy.
And hate to take out on all the others
one brother's behavior. 
Last night was hell, 
for all of us. 
He won't stop, 
and others keep telling him to be quiet, 
they are trying to do home work. 
But then he just screams for them to shut up, 
and mind their business. 
So they tell him it is my business, 
cuz I can hear you,
and can't get my stuff done.

I want to run away
>>>??!!!!!!! Where can I go??? 
Psych ward???
What do you think?

by Eileen Braaten, September 4, 2002
Grieving the Loss of the Dream