Notes posted to FAS-CRC Guestbook in 2004:

Thu Jan 01 23:14:46 2004 from ip68-0-156-185.tc.ph.cox.net
Teresa Kellerman <tkellerman@mindspring.com
From: Arizona USA
Relationship: Parent, presenter
Child: 25 FAS

Each person's story helps every other person who reads it. We learn from each other that we are not crazy, we are not bad parents, and we are not alone in this struggle to help our children find success. Thanks to each one of you for taking the time to share with us.

Mon Jan 12 11:04:47 2004 from
Terah Looman <loomant@shaw.ca
From: Sask.
Relationship: Student

Wow! What a gret website you have developed. It's very comprehensive and easy to navigate. Thanks.

Thu Jan 15 14:45:19 2004 from
Tobbie Davis <hdscreens@yahoo.com
From: Texas
Relationship: Parent
Child: 18 - ARND

I have not had my son diagnosed, but did drink while pregnant and have always known he was emotionally immature, but have believed he would outgrow it and when he hasn't I began searching for answers and believe I have found it. Thank you for your informative site. Thank God, he doesn't exhibit many of the symptoms, but I now view his childish attitude in a whole new, understanding light. Please pray for me as I seek to have him diagnosed, get counseling and believe for God to heal him totally. Thank you

Thu Jan 15 17:52:50 2004 from
lani seifert <mlseifert@cnyconnect.net
From: new york
Relationship: parent
Child: 7, capd,adhd,fas?

I came to this site to find out about FAS. We are raising a granddaughter who's mother drank while pregnant then put wine coolers in her bottles. We are trying to find a specialist in our area to get her diagnosed. Thanks for all the info.

Mon Jan 19 10:50:54 2004 from
Jennifer <jennifer_macleod_lancer@hotmail.com
From: NT/AB
Relationship: Student
Child: I was born with it

I am pleased to see people being willing to share their stories of FAS/E. My story was placed int he paper last year of my survival with FAS. I'd like to post it hre if I may. For those who wish a hard copy email me at the adress above. We are not all hopeless like most believe. Give us a chance and we can show you how far we can fly. Jennifer Tourangeau Survivor with FAS

Wed Jan 21 10:01:45 2004 from
sandy koleno <skoleno@jsasd.k12.pa.us
From: PA
Relationship: Professional

I use this in my Health classes, it's a great site!

Thu Jan 29 08:15:22 2004 from
Nancy Ferrance <nferranc@winston.com
From: Mount Vernon, NY
Relationship: Parent
Child: 10 1/2 FAS/E; RAD

I find your website very, very helpful for myself. I'm beginning to really understand what is going on in my adopted daughters mind. I'm just not able to do it alone and I can't seem to find the appropriate help for her because of finances. Everything cost so much and her insurance only covers certain things. Until FAS/E is fully recognized by the medical professional, I'm afraid these children will not get the help they need unless parents are able and willing to pay for private services. I'll just continue to read and get knowledge and hopefully, I'll be able to help my daughter and myself. Thank you.

Thu Jan 29 15:11:46 2004 from
Jill Ruoff <jruoff@chs-mo.org
From: Missouri
Relationship: Professional

I am working with human beings with FAS, and I have found your site to be invaluable. The wealth of information offered is pretty incredible. Thank you so much for everyone's time and dedication.

Mon Feb 2 13:18:28 2004 from
Jennifer <Ohyeah1240200@yahoo.com
From: Co
Relationship: student
Child: n-a

This was a great website, it was very informative! Thanks

Tue Feb 3 08:14:48 2004 from
Eleanor <Eactimichu@gov.mb.ca
From: Manitoba
Relationship: Parent
Child: 14

If I have stopped drinking 1yr 5mths before he was born could he still be born with FAS.??

Wed Feb 4 15:36:23 2004 from
Donna Parsons <parsonsd@laramie1.k12.wy.us
From: Wyoming
Relationship: visual impairment parapro

Thanks so much for your website and all the links! It made my search for info practically a one step process.

Sat Feb 7 15:49:50 2004 from
Carolyn Darlington <dadarlin@sweetwaterhsa.com
From: Wyoming
Relationship: professional

As a registered nurse that works mostly with mothers and infants, I found the information here easy to read and to understand. It is a site that I will recommend to those who want information about FAS. Thanks for making this an infromative easy site!

Thu Feb 12 11:02:51 2004 from
La Donna Wilkinson <Booboox2@direcway.com
From: Illinois
Relationship: Professional

Thanks for providing information on FAS. I have truly learned a great deal from your information. Keep up the great work!!!!

Sun Feb 15 22:37:10 2004 from
Roseanne Adam Ashely <roseadam@telus.net
From: calgary alberta canada
Relationship: parent/ my self
Child: 6 FAE/ My self 25 FAE

As more I read More I learn about FASD, as a mother with a child whom has the same condtion at times i find it hard to cope. But i am lucky to have a loving understanding husband and family to walk me though the bumps in the road. I chose to parent my daughter because its my duty to do so, the ones who shouldnt parent are the ones whom refuse to accept help in there homes or lives. I have worked day in and day out making sure that my daughter has the help also my self. I hold a career, In REHAB, and I work with other adults with FASD. its a rewarding career because i am all ways learning from them my self and my daughter has been the biggest help of all, Now I feel that It doesnt matter what needs that you have its the help that you have in your life they can make you or brake you. all i can say that you must have all the support behind you. Every one needs love and understanding. God bless

Tue Feb 17 16:37:05 2004 from
Peggy <Combs
From: California
Relationship: Bio Mom
Child: Tracy, 20 - full FAS

Tue Feb 24 15:14:01 2004 from
Stephen Neafcy <FASFlight@mchsi.com
From: Iowa
Relationship: FASD-Adult

Just wanted to update my entry to your wonderful website Theresa, your such a great person and I admire and Thank You for all you do for our cause. Barb and I Love You and John very much!

Mon Mar 1 11:06:36 2004 from
Jeannette <minidenegirl@yahoo.ca
From: Canada
Relationship: Parent/Student
Child: Three/undiagnosed

As a mother who was in an extremely abusive relation ship, I wonder why I could not stay strong for my unborn baby. That my alcoholic partner never cared whether my baby or I lived or died, that somedays he forced me to drink with him. Every day I look into my sons eyes and see the consequences of my actions. I hate myself for being weak, for not having the guts to walk out of an abusive relation ship that was harmfull to him. If I could turn back time I would. I do not ask for pity or sorry answers, I just need to get this out of me, that yes I drank while pregnant, and my son, probably has the features caused from FAS. I care for my son daily treating him normally, like he is the smartest cutest little boy in the world. Ilove my son with all my heart, and I never want to hurt him again. J. PS. I am out of that relationship.

Sat Mar 6 22:54:05 2004 from
Susan Crotta <susan.crotta@sympatico.ca
From: Simcoe, Ontario
Relationship: adoptive parent
Child: age 4 F.A.S

We started the adoption process when Daniel was only 4 months old and at that time was born with a cleft palate, he was missing the soft palate and we knew he was going to need speach theropy and we excepted that but as time went on we began to notice other things that concerned us about his development and brought that to our adoption worker who got us in contact with an INFANT DEVELOPMENT WORKER and from there we were put in contact with neurologist at McMaster who was great and very helpful who also ended up diagnosing Daniel with fetal alcohol syndrome. That was such a huge help because it answered a whole lot of questions that we have had for a few years. Daniel was diagnosed March 2003 and he was born in 2000.

Mon Mar 8 07:01:28 2004 from

My nephew was still born so I can relate to the death of a family member exspecially a baby but have not exsprienced one with FAS.

Sun Mar 14 12:43:46 2004 from
Michelle <bouvier_14@hotmail.com
From: New Brunswick,Canada
Relationship: Student

I just wantd to let you know that this is an amazing site. I have done 3 major projects on the topic of FAS and it has been a pleasure writing this site down as a reference. I also wanted to say that Theresa Kellerman is a wonderful person. She has done so much for the reasearch and knowledge of FAS it is remarkable! Thank you so much and best of luck in the future.

Thu Mar 18 11:33:05 2004 from
Matthew Pakozdy <pakozdy557@hotmail.com
From: Canada
Relationship: Student
Child: 24 Adult

I dont know if i have been on here before but I belive i have.Anyways i just wanted to let all know that i have had fas since i was born.Hard times were ahead.But in the year of 99 i was 19 years old thats when i knew that iwas on this earth to peform for people and do many more amazing things in life and that i did. Got accepted to the Canadian Collage of Peforming Arts for 2 years got to peform with tom jackson and win many awards though out my life i am still amazed what i have done and acomplished from the year 99 to 2004 and thats a lot. And i thank my mom Judy Pakozdy Director of FASSY and Y.A.C.L in the yukon. I would not be doing such amazing things if it was not for her. P.S for all thoses parents out there who are struggling with teens or kids with fas.It will be hard but will get better as time goes by. The more you learn from your fas child or teen. The more you will know. Belive me i know. My mother judy has been there tons of times and learned a heck of a lot.Look where i am now!=0) Signed Matthew Pakozdy

Fri Mar 19 14:23:34 2004 from
Jody Platt <jchody@hotmail.com
From: Alberta, Canada
Relationship: Student

I am student at Lethbridge Community College in Alberta, Canada. I'm enrolled in Criminal Justice Program working on my Bachelor of Applied Corrections Degree. Your website was extremely helpful. I also am a mother of one. My husband was diagnosed as a child with having FAE, so I understand some of the struggles that people go through. On a happy note we have been together for 8 years now and have been married for 2. Not to say that it has been without struggles, but we take it one day at a time. He is a roofer and a bouncer at a night club part time. He works very hard to support his family and is pround of that. He also really loves and enjoys spending lots of time with our two year old daughter Haley. Haley also loves to spend time with daddy.

Tue Mar 23 10:36:58 2004 from
sherry-anne piec <sbaber273@hotmail.com
From: alberta
Relationship: fosterparent
Child: all ages

thankyou for this web page it is very informative and much needed.

Wed Mar 24 14:46:50 2004 from
Connie Benton <dansin32040@yahoo.com
From: Florida/USA
Relationship: parent
Child: 4 Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

I am so touched that you all have put together a site like this. It truely makes me happy that people care about these children.

Tue Mar 30 12:00:15 2004 from
Steve Elmes <steveandmarsh@shaw.ca
From: BC
Relationship: Parent
Child: 2 years, FAS

We recently completed the adoption of our daughter, now 2, who has been with us since birth as a foster child. We are researching all the resources we can find to learn whatever we can to give Skylar the best chances for future success. Your web site is amazing! We have been searching it for days and have just scratched the surface of the amount of info available. Keep up the good work.

Thu Apr 1 15:11:32 2004 from
Isabelle Wilcox <isabellew@auroracollege.nt.ca
From: NT Canada
Relationship: Parent, professional
Child: FASD adult, deceased

I would like to know how I can have my 38-year-old daughter's picture and story posted on "Faraway Stars." Thank you.

Tue Apr 6 03:18:53 2004 from
mueller@esm.esmcity.de <mueller@esm.esmcity.de

great site

Wed Apr 7 12:52:09 2004 from
Jennifer Smith <jen@nfdc.net
From: 49 Kings Way Stewartstown, PA. 17363
Relationship: Parent, stepmom
Child: 10, FAS

I just recently came across your website. I have found it to be very informative and helpful. I am looking for any kind of help in raising my stepdaughter. Her mother drank and did drugs while pregnant, now she pays the price. It is very hard being her mom. Sometimes I just want to give up.

Wed Apr 7 22:16:14 2004 from
Bev Eastcott <gbkeastcott@shaw.ca
From: Manitoba
Relationship: parent
Child: 13 pFAS, 10 FAS

Teresa.....I continue to recommend your site to those I meet. Bev

Thu Apr 8 03:10:19 2004 from
florian@xtremestyle.de <florian@xtremestyle.de


Tue Apr 13 13:08:40 2004 from
katy henke <katyhat@hotmail.com
From: texas
Relationship: professional
Child: n/a

I am a youth & family counselor. In my profession I have worked with several children that fall in the fasd. Your website has provided much needed information, as FASD is not widely recognized (esp in texas). Thank you.

Tue Apr 13 17:53:17 2004 from
Beth Holmes <cjandbeth@elko.net
From: Nevada
Relationship: parent
Child: 8 FAS

I was just very happy to find yet another souce of information. I love to learn about my son's disability. I gave the site address to my folks who are not very clear (in denial?) about FAS. Thanks

Wed Apr 14 15:30:13 2004 from
Melissa Olander <melissaolander@hotmail.com
From: CA
Relationship: student

I really like your website!

Wed Apr 14 22:39:34 2004 from
Cyrus <bagwadia@pacific.net.sg
From: singapore

I am thankful to the terrific information provided.

Mon Apr 19 12:30:05 2004 from
Mr Clyde Framis <clydeframis419@yahoo.com

Interesting site

Mon Apr 19 16:17:02 2004 from
Dick Jacobson <dickjacobs@aol.com
From: Illinois
Relationship: Foster Parent
Child: 6, FASD (not formally diagnosed)

We are just starting to understand that our 6 year old Foster Son is probably FASD. Your site and the links are very helpful. Thank you.

Tue Apr 20 13:05:36 2004 from
Olga Hernandez <OlgaMarVega@aol.com
From: Florida
Relationship: Parent
Child: 18 Static Encephalopathy Of unclear cause

When my child was diagnosed with static encephalopathy in in the 80's ,nobody really understand what kind of problem this was. My son have been in special education for all his school years, everybody knows he is not "quite normal" and nobody understand what is really his problem, because he is so bright with some areas and he is graduating now from high school and he is going to college. He have problems with speech, he is ADD ,hyper sometimes, moody, poor memory, poor fine motor skills, depression , ect. His experiences with bullies and cruel people affected his self esteem... so he had such a rough time, feeling lonely and different. Now he is visiting the therapist and he is feeling a little bit better,but now he is an adult an I am worring so much for his well being. We are going to relocate close to his college so he can still living at home. Reading all this new information about Static Encephalopathy makes me wonder if the reason my son is suffering from this is because I did drink in the first three months of pregnancy!(I did not know I was pregnant) When I knew I was pregnant I stopped but now I am wondering...Could be this alcohol that affect him? Could be this the "Unclear reason" for his disabilities?..I am feeling so bad that last night I couldn't sleep...because I never said to Doctors or anybody that I did drink alcohol. All the diagnosed problems were based on some lack of oxygen during pregnancy... Also I was such in stressful situations... My son accomplish a lot ...But he always will have the shadow of this "invisible disability" ... I will look for more info. and help. Great stories in here. Gave me hope. And hope for my son. God Bless you and Good Luck to all of you! Mrs. Vega

Wed Apr 21 07:23:34 2004 from
amber wilson  <amberwilson75@yahoo.com
From: okc ok
Relationship: student
Child: i dont have one.

hello my name is amber wilson and i was on your site because i was doing a science project on FAS and i got here. I dont have any kids but i just want to let yall know that i feel for all of these children and i hope that this page and my science project make mothers and fathers relize there mistakes well that is all love amber wilson.

Tue Apr 27 19:30:21 2004 from
Mary Lou Parsons, M.Ed., FBMHT <waparsons@comcast.net
From: PA, USA
Relationship: professional
Child: n/a

good website....I work with many different types of children and their families, many of which are effected by prenatal exposure to drugs and/or alcohol.

Wed Apr 28 00:41:18 2004 from
Karen Yates <Mamasdrama0178@yahoo.com
From: TX
Relationship: Student

I am in fact a mother of a 3 year old healthy little boy, I did not drink while I was pregnant at all! And I don't see how a mother could, as you mentioned father's are just as responsible and I would not associate myself with someone with such lack of concern. I visited your website because I am doing a presentation on FAS, I really just wanted to say that this is a great site it has everything you would want or need to know, twice just in case you missed it. Thank you for all the effort you have given, I'm sure families appriciate it.

Thu Apr 29 07:03:09 2004 from
Peter and Larry  <transglobal_lawfirm@mail.com,larrymoore@linuxmail.org

Hi! Great website! Keep it up. We're friends and we love your site. Peter and Larry ---- Peter: ---- Larry:

Tue May 4 05:04:00 2004 from
Hentgen Vivi <fasaelu@yahoo.de
From: Luxembourg
Relationship: Parent
Child: 13

Hy Teresa a little visit in your homepage and kisses from Luxembourg Vivi www.fasaelu.com

Tue May 11 12:09:28 2004 from
Siobhain Supernault <ssupernault@bgce.ca
From: Alberta/Canada
Relationship: Parent/professional

Great information. I found this site very informative.

Thu May 13 05:53:21 2004 from
Monique <sexyslim772@hotmail.com
From: Florida
Relationship: Lundy
Child: n/a

This is a wonderful site I don't know where to start from....I have a project do May 18,2004.This site helping me alot.Who ever cam up with this site high five :)

Thu May 13 19:05:19 2004 from
Michele <mamabear072398@aol.com

Mon May 17 08:15:02 2004 from
Jennifer Benjamin <jbenjami@usd253.org
From: Kansas
Relationship: Professional

Teresa, I just went through training with Deb Everson, and it was amazing! I learned so much. I am the Secondary Prevention Specialist here at Emporia High School. THis is our only high school in our community. I have a new sense of importance with this issue. I never realized that the impacts were so severe and so prevelant. I told Deb that she broke open the floodgate for me. I just never knew---thank you for allow us to see your son. He impacted me so much. I applaud you and your son for all the work you are doing in this area. I know that it is an area to me but to you this is your life. I will promise to educate as much on my part as I can. Your website is awesome! Thank you again and God bless you both. Sincerely, Jennifer Benjamin

Fri May 21 09:38:51 2004 from
glynis <counsellorg@yahoo.com
From: BC Canada
Relationship: Wife and student
Child: 44

My husband has recently linked some of his traits to fas, I have been trying to find information that pertains to adults who are just learning they could have fas, but I am having a difficult time. I understand the significance in prevention and awareness for our chilren, future children etc. However it would greatly help adults with fas to have information on symptoms, tell tale signs, suggestions on how to provide a user friendly environment, not to mention how to understand how they think and comprehend. Then communucation would be a whole lot easier.

Fri May 28 13:25:54 2004 from
Janna Livingston <j.livingston@tcu.edu
From: Cleburne, Johnson County, Texas, USA
Relationship: parent
Child: Duncan - no diagnosis yet

I hope some day there is an awareness that will recognize the special needs of these children so they will get the assistance and education "at the drop of a hat" just all the other handicapped children. My wish is that someday we will be able to raise the awareness level of the dangers of the cause of this birth defect and maybe, just maybe wipe this birth defect off the planet.

Sat May 29 21:33:30 2004 from
From: Colorado
Relationship: Parent
Child: 5 yrs (FAE)

This information was very helpful. Our daughter is very smart sometimes to smart but we are starting to see more of her behavior problems. Cause and Effect and impulse control sometimes we just do not know what to do. Finding this information will help us now and in the future. Thank you very much.

Mon May 31 09:41:30 2004 from
Steven Nimmo <steven.nimmo@dixonhall.org
From: Toronto, Ont, Canada
Relationship: Professional

Looking for others in my area to net work with!

Wed Jun 9 15:23:55 2004 from
Michelle <chomyshen@shaw.ca
From: Alberta-Canada
Relationship: Professional
Child: 17, FAS

very informative site!!!! thank you for the hard work and dedication to helping us all understand FAS!

Mon Jun 14 17:46:56 2004 from


Fri Jun 18 10:37:56 2004 from
Mardee M. <mardee@i2k.com
From: Michigan
Relationship: Professional

I am a parent educator in an adult education program. I work mostly with at-risk single teen moms and dads in a school atmosphere. I have tried to talk with my students about FAS and the dangers of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs during pregnancy to no avail. Your web site gives me better indepth material to use than I have seen before. With school finances cut drastically in our state, free downloads are extremely helpful. Thank You and God Bless your center.

Sun Jun 27 18:34:33 2004 from
Serena Lee <serena2lee@telus.net
From: Alberta, Calgary, Canada
Relationship: Prospective Adoptive Parent

If anyone can recommend at what age the best diagnosis can be made for FAS and you would contact me I would appreciate it. My husband and I are trying to adopt through Family Services, and would like to hear form parents regarding thier stories of FAS. We would like to hear both the good and the bad, please don't feel like you will offend us in any way. Thank you and God bless you all. This is such a great site.

Fri Jul 16 07:45:32 2004 from
Ashley Ryan <aryan@mun.ca
From: Newfoundland, Canada
Relationship: Teacher

This is a wonderfully informative site. It is hard to find such a wealth of information in one convenient place. Thank you!

Wed Jul 21 00:50:05 2004 from
Tammy Dragomatz <tdragomatz@hotmail.com
From: BC Canada
Relationship: ECE student

I am doing a research paper on FAS and this site has been a great help. I plan on returning to the site for furthure information. thank you for all the sites and extra links. They have been a big help.

Thu Jul 22 16:46:19 2004 from
Estefanita Bries(Stephanie) <Ebries8368@aol.com
From: Bloomington, MN
Relationship: Parent-FASD Advocate
Child: Keith15, Casey14, Mardell24, Gregory25 all FASD

I am the guardian of these boy's well at least the last 2 youngest. I have educated myself by going to some workhops and researching. At first i was in denial, I thought they were just bad kids until I learned different. Now I am on a mission to advocate and educate the community and public of how enormous this is. What makes it sad iis that it is 100% preventable. Thank you so much for all the helpful information. A friend and myself have a few FASD events coming up and are putting together a Resource and Advocacy center for FASD families. With God's blessings we will also open a safe home for at risk mother's to be to finish out their pregnancy free from alcohol. With parent training and some kind of job training to prepare her for life with her child. Also train her how to raise her child if it turns out to be FASD. Again thank you and keep this website going. Steph

Mon Jul 26 22:55:27 2004 from
Kim <KimmiH65@sbcglobal.net
From: WI
Relationship: Parent
Child: 3,4 &13... numerious issues

All 3 of our adopted children have FAS/ADHD DD and many other issues. We are proud to call them our children and plan to adopt more special needs children. We will fight for them and we live and breath for our "babies". They know they are adopted and that they have issues but they also know that they can do anything in life (maybe with help) but they can do anything and be any body. By the grace of God we are the blessed ones to have them in our lives!

Wed Jul 28 14:40:25 2004 from
Debra Congi <not at liberty to post
From: Wetaskiwin, Alberta
Relationship: Professional FASD Worker
Child: many, many, many

I think your site is much informative and needed in any community to access. Keep up these great web pages.......and in breaking down the barriers we need to break down the materials for easier understanding........GOD BLESS

Thu Jul 29 00:16:30 2004 from
Charray Johnson <jkindteacher@aol.com
From: Tennessee
Relationship: Teacher
Child: Deaf/FAS

I was so glad to find so much information in one place!

Thu Jul 29 08:38:07 2004 from
Roberta Gooseberry <suger_spice76@yahoo.com
From: Michigan
Relationship: professional
Child: I was diagnosed in 1984

I am so happy that there is a website and help for people with FAS and FASD. Without it I would be lost. I am proud to say that I am a member of the FASTF(Fedal Alcohal Syndrome Task Force). I am also glad that there is a clinic near me.

Thu Jul 29 10:14:25 2004 from
Devine Buffay <doyoulikeitthatshot@hotmail.com
From: Louisiana/USA
Relationship: Student
Child: 25, F

Thu Jul 29 10:15:01 2004 from
Devine Buffay
From: Louisiana/USA
Relationship: Student
Child: 25, FAS

One of my finest friends has FAS and it really touched me to see all the pictures of all the other FAS babies, and children. I know he is not alone!

Fri Jul 30 15:00:26 2004 from
Don Ford <Dfdlg@aol.com
From: Alaska
Relationship: Parent
Child: 24, FAS

Tue Aug 3 18:54:22 2004 from
Annette Graf <grafclan@auracom.com
From: Ontcrio Canada
Relationship: Parent

I can't tell you how thrilled I was to happen upon your FASSTARS web site. I'm too tired right now but I will start again tomorrow and read the testimonies of these brave parents who have come forth to share their story. I have no support in my area and reading their stories is helping heal my broken heart for my son Michael. Thank-you 1000000 times. Annette & Brian Graf

Wed Aug 4 15:42:02 2004 from
Susan Stelk <ssws@comcast.net
From: Massachusetts, USA
Relationship: parent
Child: 12 year old female;FAS, ADHD, Reactive Attachment disorder

Alot of useful information on your website, but I am looking for referral/resource informtion in Massachusetts. I am looking for a residential school for our daughter who is having increasing social problems and is very isolated in the community. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I am a social worker as well as a parent, so I understand well the issues involved.

Thu Aug 5 20:15:47 2004 from
Kelly E. <dkebben@netzero.com
From: WI
Relationship: Parent
Child: 11yrs. FASD, ADHD, OCD, BiPolar

Hi, Teresa!! Just wanted to say, "Hey!" since I stopped in to do some more reading at ur site. We (I) am having a hard time with our little guy. So, I spent a lot of time in tears reading thru some of the writings. We have been considering placing him outside of the home but, breaks my heart to even think about it. There has to be something that can help him & us!! Right now, I am basically a prisoner in my own home & feel like I am an abused parent-- physically & emotionally. AAAhhhh!! This is such a frustrating disorder!! Sorry to ramble but, it was real good to read thru some of the articles. I feel good that I am not the only one struggling thru the same things. And it is good to know that I am a good mom (even if I have to keep reminding myself). I think that is it also important to remember that this can tear ur family apart. I feel like it is a constant struggle to keep us from falling apart into little pieces. Keep up the good work!! (I am trying on my end..) (((HUGS))) to u & John

Sun Aug 8 20:50:01 2004 from
Cheryl L. Ritchie <lesterbp@shaw.ca
From: Canada
Relationship: Parent/LPN/student
Child: 21

Just doing research for a project. Loved your site, excellent information. Great source for a few other students. Thanks Cheryl R

Mon Aug 9 12:13:05 2004 from
Doug Zeak <huntrshart@yahoo.com
From: Pittsburgh, Pa.
Relationship: Single Parent
Child: 16

Refreshing to have common sense and experience mixed with love and hope. Thanks

Wed Aug 11 14:41:00 2004 from
Tori Charpentier <tvc@cable-lynx.net
From: Alberta Canada
Relationship: Rehab support
Child: 9 diagnosed at 7

HURRAY! for you... i have just finished reading the book "Damaged Angels", in which you are quote numerous times love it love it love it!... my adopted 9 year old is one of the most loving and giving humans i have ever met, but what about the other side... who in the world is that person looking at me with such an evil stare?! like many others i understand, i hope that lots of love and a structured and safe home was all she needed...well, two and a half years later... that so did not work! now my questions are in regards to my two biological children (ages 12 and 8)...how much do they need to know?... is telling them anything too much?... just the beginning of many questions... the iceberg

From: Bali - Indonesia
Relationship: Business

I like your website; I will come again sometime.

Thu Aug 26 11:05:28 2004 from
Karen Crowther <crowther_k@hotmail.com
From: alberta
Relationship: parent
Child: 17 - FAS

This sight was extremely helpful in further cementing or reminding me of what I already knew and it educated me on things that I didn't know, such as medications that could possibly help and discipline/behavior strategies, such as SCREAM. My son is currently in a youth corrections facilities and has been for most of the last five years. He has also been "in care" for that time, but will be coming home permanently for the first time at the end of September. I am scared, both for my son and myself. I hope to arm myself with as much "ammo" as I can in order to give us the highest chance of success.

Thu Aug 26 20:17:13 2004 from
Clara Mathis <coocoo53@comcast.net
From: 2019 Watts Dr

Fri Aug 27 10:06:27 2004 from
Sonya G. Shade <sonyashade@hotmail.com
From: Canada
Relationship: student
Child: no kids

This is an excellent site with so much information! Good job, guys! I am in the business of prevention. I am a native american from Canada, and FASD is crazy here! I was wondering if you can email me some pointers or new suggestions of how to hammer the results of how harmful drinking during pregnancy is. It is such a difficult job, because most of our mothers are FASD themselves, live in poverty and are uneducated. So, any tips would be greatly appreciated! Thank you all, and may the spirits guide you on your journey.

Fri Aug 27 10:12:43 2004 from
Sonya G. Shade <sonyashade@hotmail.com
From: Canada
Relationship: student
Child: no kids

This is an excellent site with so much information! Good job, guys! I am in the business of prevention. I am a native american from Canada, and FASD is crazy here! I was wondering if you can email me some pointers or new suggestions of how to hammer the results of how harmful drinking during pregnancy is. It is such a difficult job, because most of our mothers are FASD themselves, live in poverty and are uneducated. So, any tips would be greatly appreciated! Thank you all, and may the spirits guide you on your journey.

Thu Sep 2 15:12:31 2004 from
Debra Congi <Debra.Congi@catholicsocialservices.ab.ca
From: Alberta, Canada
Relationship: Professional FASD Worker

This is a wonderful web site and I have thouroughly enjoyed reading about each and everyone.

Fri Sep 3 17:01:46 2004 from
roderick whittle, B.A. <rowhtt@aol.com
From: fl., usa
Relationship: graduate student

Sun Sep 5 21:52:52 2004 from
Star <newfie_star5@hotmail.com
From: Canada
Relationship: parent
Child: 6 years old, not diagnosed yet

I was reading all the stories of the children on your site. I have an adopted daughter who is turning 6 in a few days. We just adopted her in January of this year. I am doing research about FAS/FAE and I am taking her to the doctor next week to get a referral to get her diagnosed. I had no idea what FAS really was until these past few months. I am grateful for sites such as this one for the information available. I have strong supports within this community who are helping me with my daughter, and I am thankful for that also. I just started up a support group on msn, if you would like to join, please feel free to check it out. It is basically a support group for parents of children with FAS/FAE, or for adults suffering from it. The link is: http://groups.msn.com/FetalAlcoholSyndromeEffects Please drop by and join. The more members we have, the more support for each other we can offer. Thank you.

Tue Sep 7 14:18:42 2004 from
Joseph Kotsch, RN <jkotsch@kdhe.state.ks.us
From: Kansas
Relationship: Professional

Beautiful website! Keep up the good work! The State of Kansas is presently involved in writing for a grant to help start implementing prevention strategies in community programs across the state.

Tue Sep 7 17:18:56 2004 from
Aroha Parakuka From: New Zealand
Relationship: Parent
Child: 5yrs 7mnth FAS


Thu Sep 9 16:40:22 2004 from
Diana Hayn <lady61554@yahoo.com
From: ill
Relationship: student/parent
Child: 12 none 9/none

I was just telling my boyfriend about FAS when it came on TV with the website. I do think his 12 yr. old displays a lot the symptoms, it scares me because this child likes knives and picking on younger and smaller children. He has shown aggressive behavor with myself as well,has low grades in school, i have to repeat myself at least 3 or 4 times when he is told to his chores, its a daily struggle . Constantly reminding him of his responcibility, he throws clothes , trash where ever it lands, disobeys, lies a lot his dad just over looks it. I'm afraid this child is capable of murder and if something isn't done thats what will happen, he has excuses for everything,and when he gets into a fight it is always the other persons fault and his dad agrees. This child can give you nightmares.

I'm currently a CNA working towards my BSN, so iam truely interested in FAS. I'am also a recovering alcoholic with 10 and half years under my belt and thank god i didn't drink while i was pregnant.

I can see a lot of these same traits in my nephew who was born with crack cocain in his system ,he is 9 and aggressive, lazy but a straight A student in school and a modle student why so much differance? My boyfriend has costody and knows that his mother drank really heavy until the 7th month of pregnancy.She still drinks very often see,s the boy maybe 4 times a year , most the time she calls she is drunk.So where can i get help with this childs diagnois ? Can any DR. diagnois FAS?

Thu Sep 9 17:39:42 2004 from
Cynthia A. Johnson <johnsoca@michigan.gov
From: MI
Relationship: Parent
Child: 14/FAS

Mr. President:

First and foremost, all parents "should" be the first teacher and positive example in the life or lives of their child/ren. That's so common sense. However, there are some children like my son, Henry, whose birth mother was an alcoholic and as a result and out of no fault of his own was born with a dreaded and preventable mental disability called "FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME" (FAS.)

My son is a smart kid who if not for FAS could have been one of the most intellectual human beings, at his age, that I know. But he has behavioral problems characteristic of children/adults with FAS. He says and does inappropriate things, without thought of consequence. My son has been labeled Educable Mentally Impaired (EMI) and is a student in (a Public). The school my son attends is a school primarily for mentally challenged children. Henry does not belong there. He's there primarily because of his behavioral problems but that shouldn't be. This system is supposed to be set up to hire professionals to teach not only children whose IQ is between 90 and 110 but those below the minimum average.

Yes, the schools are paid handsomely to hire special education teachers but the fact of the matter is many of these teachers are not equipped nor do they recognize children with FAS characteristics.

My son needs structure, a school with people who understand the characteristics of a child with FAS and I should not have to search countrywide or made to think I've got the problem for keeping him in a school district that's not giving him the tools he needs to prepare him for a world who's not ready for the unprepared Henry's of the world.

Prior to that particular public school, he's been suspended out of regular education public school settings because of inappropriate behavior including cursing, and he still does it--never in my presence--but reported by every school he's attended including this specially designed school for mentally challenged children. Except this time, he was suspended only once!! Of course, he should be given consequences but at the same time, how can you punish a child for behavior of acting out which is as a result of, perhaps anger and frustration of not understanding why he does what he does even though he's been repeatedly told "Henry no... Henry, that inappropriate... Henry, didn't I tell you..."

Henry's first public school experience was in the Detroit area, Grosse Pointe Public Schools. He was given a label called "Physically or Otherwise Health Impaired." That was the pool he was placed in only because FAS was not and still is not an understood disability. I've lived with this child all of his life, and I understand how frustrating and difficult it is to deal with a child who is defiant but Henry's not your typical defiant child. When he gets himself in trouble at school and I'm called, I ask to speak with him (he knows the routine), I can barely hear his shallow answers to my questions of "why did you do this or that." The answer is typically always the same, "I don't know." And what is so interesting, I sometimes believe that he truly doesn't know. He's been victimized with this dreaded and preventable thing call FAS by a woman who chose to drink while pregnant. Then on top of that, he's a growing teen ager whose body is changing but whose psychological maturity is not catching up.

Henry just needs help from individuals who are not just Special Education Aides or Professionals. He needs real professionals who know what FAS/FAE is and understand all the characteristics of this syndrome and it needs to be taught to ALL staff in who choses to be in the education field.

Henry is not stupid nor is he unintelligent. He sees kids his age accomplish simple tasks of learning a variety of essentially and crucial things like reading and interacting with same age or similar age children. Henry does best around adults or younger children. I don't think he feels safe with children his age because he'll be shown, and I'm sure he doesn't understand this, what he can't do and that's scary for him. So, he opts to interact with those who he perceives knows less than he or those who are mature enough not to be judgmental--those who still treat him like a child.

Henry knows something is not right and the most frustrating thing is watching him give up. He is aware that he has FAS and we discuss it in depth. I've researched the subject and let him help in the research but it means little to a kid who has to interact with others who are not aware and simply don't nor do they care to take the time to learn about something that isn't they're problem.

But I am writing you, my dear president, because you said, NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND.

My son, Henry is not being taught by Detroit Public Schools, and this lack of training for children with FAS/FAE is not limited to DPS--this is a National Problem, behavioral modification. If it were not for his problem behavior, this young person would, I believe, soar in academics. Henry comes home practically every day without homework. I've given my email address to the teacher and have asked her to email me when and if Henry has had homework and not turned it in. I've also told her she can email the work to me. To date, I've still not received any. Further, my son has been at Deiter for almost an entire year and has NEVER been given a book to bring home.

How in God's name can he ever be able to compete or learn how to compete or comprehend, when he isn't given homework or books? At home, he's given homework, does chores, allowed to go on-line to work on various thought provoking problems to solve. I want to see my child make it but he deserves "legitimate and not the 'feel good, sound good, look good on paper claims.'

Henry has been baby sat for an entire year. I've beat my head against a deaf and dumb wall of "don't know what to do professionals." Just the other day, Henry asked me to help him open a new toothbrush that was in a perforated package. I told him that he was going to have to figure it out. Eventually, he figured it out but he was close to giving up after a few tries.

Henry and children like Henry deserve a place other than home where they can thrive and want to learn. And unfortunately, many of the professionals don't have the understanding of the absolute need for them to 1) not take words personal but also NOT ignore unacceptable behavior, 2) know that many children with FAS/FAE may have to be reminded a task just given 10 minutes ago, and 3) be patient.

Henry wants to do good but wanting is not enough if the adults he interacts with are constantly telling him, "you know better." That statement may be true but then I would challenge those making that statement to "if you knew better, you'd understand that Henry just may not know better." What I know is that FAS is 100% preventable. I also know that alcohol when consumed by pregnant women have higher chances of giving birth to babies with FAS/FAE. Finally what I also know is that if the brain has been damaged, there is no cure to reverse the mental retardation. Alcohol actually eat away the brain cells and can damage the cerebral. Does that seem fair to Henry or children like him?

Henry is 13 years old with a small stature, under 5 feet tall, and weighing about 70 lbs. He could be the science literature research poster child of FAS. It frustrates me seeing his frustration of trying what appears to be simple but is actually complicated to him but seemingly unfair to see those of similar age have abilities that are so difficult for him.

You made a promise that no child would be left behind. Please keep your promise. My child is so behind. My child's space is paid in full and the Detroit Public Schools have not earned the monies received on behalf of Henry Hoskins, a child with special needs.

My son is a really nice kid who has difficulty counting dollars and cents. I know what I don't know. And what I know is I don't want to lose my child to the criminal justice system.

I need help. My son needs help. Please don't let me have to visit my child in prison because he didn't realize the necessity of an education and the consequences thereof on the heels of your promise.

Keep your word, don't just talk words. Please count Henry. Don't allow any Public School to continue to accept Federal monies while allowing children, like my child, left behind.

Thank you.

Wed Sep 15 13:33:24 2004 from
Eric Duncanson <eric1701d@hotmail.com
From: Bardstown, Kentucky, USA
Relationship: laborer
Child: me

Hi all! My name is Eric, and I have FAS. I am 31 years old. I live independently in Bardstown, Ketucky. I take care of my own finances(with some help from my wonderful adopted mother, Brenda),I work for Communicare at 801 Allison Ave. in Bardstown. I ride a mountain bike for transportation in my town, and my mom picks me up for weekend visits with her in Loiusville in her shiny black Pontiac Bonneville. I go to church at Nelson County Baptist Church, 55 Lutheran Church Road, Bardstown, Kentucky(PH# 502-346-0117). I am a Christian, and I believe Jesus died not just for me, but for the whole world. My hobbies include Star Trek, reading about science, cars, space and space travel, riding my bike, and last, but not least anything to do with GOLF! I LOVE GOLF!!! As far as my FAS goes, I have many of the standard features and symptoms. I am small, 5' tall, 110 lbs. , can be easily disracted, sometimes have difficulty paying attention, and fairly frequent bedwetting. I also have nystagmus, or involuntary eye movement which keeps me from driving a car. I don't let all that get to me though. To me, every day is a new chance to show the world that FAS can't keep me down! Sincerely Yours, Eric B. Duncanson 203 N. Elm Grove Ave. Bardstown, Kentucky 40004 502-349-9207 email: eric1701d@hotmail.com

Wed Sep 15 17:49:06 2004 from
Dawn Rathbun <drathbun1@hotmail.com
From: kansas
Relationship: nurse
Child: 2 1/2 FAS

I need all the information I can get. I am in the process of making waves and waking up people in Kansas. The ignorance on effects of alcohol and drugs during pregnancy in this community is bliss, and I want to change this.

Thu Sep 16 17:46:21 2004 from
Jennifer <Jennifer@pulmonaryfibrosis.org
From: IL/USA
Relationship: other
Child: none

I enjoyed your site. I was actually looking for information about care for the caretaker and was interested in your list of 50 ways to be good to yourself and was wondering if I can reprint those on our website for those suffering from terminal lung disease with no treatment and no cure. There was a great article last week in the Chicago Tribune about the Gov signing a proclamation about determining a special day for FAS Awareness. Sincerely, Jennifer Bulandr Director of Community Relations Pulmonary Fibrosis Foundation www.pulmonaryfibrosis.org

Fri Sep 17 11:18:08 2004 from
Eric B. Duncanson  <eric1701d@hotmail.com
From: Kentucky

I'm back again! Sorry I goofed up my info. My job is asa a laborer, sorry for the mistake!

Fri Sep 17 12:44:48 2004 from
ABA <aba@yahoo.com
From: awka
Relationship: student
Child: 18

keep it up

Fri Sep 17 23:47:24 2004 from
Cathy St. Peter <StPeterC@aol.com
From: NV
Relationship: Parent
Child: 19 - FAS dx @ birth


This website is so wonderful. It gives me so much up-to-date information about what's happening in the world of FASD. I thank God that you have the energy and ambition to keep it up. I believe that it helps far more people than you'll ever know! Cathy

Sun Sep 19 07:36:16 2004 from
From: sherrijo@iowatelecom.net
Relationship: parent(legalguardian)
Child: 11FAS

this is the first time I have sought any help online for FAS.I have legal guardianship of 2 Native Ameerican children.They are now 11 and 13.The youngest has FAS and the oldest FAE.I have had them since they were infants,so I am MOM.I am a single parent and work full time,but I have a significant other(does not live in the home),however is very involved in our lives.He feels that I am not tough enough and we disagree totally on how to manage their behavior,such as,"he's not stupid,you just need to put your foot down."When I speak of behavior I am talking about minor things.Until recently I had experienced only minor behavior issues,but this summer my daughter(13/FAE)changed and she started stealing money from me.I started taking her to a local psychiatrist and therapist,to help us work through this.My significant other feels this is a waste of time,that all I need to do is punish her,i.e.grounding,taking away priveliges.I did this along with seeking professional guidance.The 11 yr old is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily.He really needs some friends but most of the kids will accept him at school,but probably would not have a social relationship(away from school)with him.I am searching for correspondece with other parents with similar issues and am open for any suggestions.I need to find information for others to read concerning FAS/FAE.I do not think the teachers are educated at all about FAS.I live in a rural area in Iowa and (to my knowledge),my child is the only student in this system with FAS,so his problems are dealt with,focusing on his ADHD.I am thinking that this is totally wrong and I need to have some ideas to present to them at our next staffing.I will appreciate any response I get,thanks! Sherri Jo

Sun Sep 19 11:32:31 2004 from
Gail Fiorini <cgailfiorini@aol.com
From: Arizona
Relationship:  Volunteer

Dear Teresa, Wanted you to know I met a Mother with a teenager who is making so many very sad choices in her life. She is pregant and deciding get high and drink some. I gave the Mother your FAS information and Mother is reviewing your website. The Mother is learning and trying to teach her teenager better choices. My prays are with them both and the new infant growing. Your site is fabulous..... I think I can speak for everyone on The Arc of Tucson Board we are all so proud of you and all the work you do. Our association with you is a real blessing. God Bless you and John...Sincerely, Gail The Arc of Tucson

Mon Sep 20 11:57:35 2004 from
Merrilee Keller <mkeller@up-pathways.org
From: Michigan
Relationship: Professional

Thanks for all the great resources!

Tue Sep 21 14:06:11 2004 from
Donna J. Hoialmen <dhoialmen@aol.com
From: WI USA
Relationship: parent

I have been looking for a long time, for an advocate group, or some sort of help for my grandson. The schools will not offer him any help, as he is not in the lower 10% of his class. Dakota only scored severely below grade average in cognitive learnig. Most of the rest of his tests were below and mildly below grade level. I guess they don't feel that he is important enough to save. Help!!!! Donna

Tue Sep 21 23:08:47 2004 from
Terry Kelly <terry@world.com
From: Washington
Relationship: Professional

Your website is amazing! So much good information on all aspects of FAS and FAE. It has been immensely helpful to me. Thank you for your efforts to make this available to us.

Wed Sep 22 09:03:43 2004 from
Danny Haszard <rollingthunderboywonder@yahoo.com
From: Bangor Maine usa
Relationship: Educator

I have a long history of alcoholism in my family.Thank you for your wonderful resource. Danny Haszard Bangor Maine http://www.DannyHaszard.com {Children grow up to be the love they have known}

Wed Sep 22 09:03:51 2004 from
Danny Haszard <rollingthunderboywonder@yahoo.com
From: Bangor Maine usa
Relationship: Educator

I have a long history of alcoholism in my family.Thank you for your wonderful resource. Danny Haszard Bangor Maine http://www.DannyHaszard.com {Children grow up to be the love they have known}

Thu Sep 23 20:19:46 2004 from
Stephy Clarke <soccer_chick86@msn.com
From: ok
Relationship: Student

Thanks for the site its going to help me a lot with my Senior paper.

Thu Sep 30 19:24:04 2004 from
Kristina Clarkson <wyoblondie38 @aol.com
From: Wyoming
Relationship: Parent/Student
Child: 15

I am doing a research paper on FAS, I found your resources to be the easiest to read. I will be on regurlarly from now on. thank you

Fri Oct 1 06:09:47 2004 from
ASaba Owerri <homeboy@yahoo.com
From: aba, enugu, lagos
Relationship: parent

I loive thsi page. It looks really nice and very much informative. Keep up the wonderful good work.

Sun Oct 3 13:33:31 2004 from
Aileen O'Brien <aileen_o_b@hotmail.com
From: Ireland
Relationship: Student

i heard about the centre in Alaska through college, out of curiosty i searched through Google, i couldn't believe the amount of information available on this website.its excellent!congratulations and the best of luck with the future. Slan abhaile, Aileen

Mon Oct 4 12:57:23 2004 from
Danny Haszard <Rollingthunderboywonder@yahoo.com
From: Bangor Maine USA
Relationship: Parent
Child: Teenage Ulcerative colitis

Ulcerative colitis when severe is difficult to manage in the adolescent and can be devestating.Thanks for your support.Danny Haszard Bangor Maine USA http://www.DannyHaszard.com

Tue Oct 5 13:16:15 2004 from
Rhonda Ackerman <zuboo2003@yahoo.com
From: Oregon
Relationship: Parent
Child: 3 years

Our little guy was a foster child in our home when he was put up for adoption, we adopted him. DHS says he is FAS/FAE but i am not for sure. I love my little guy so much i read EVERYTHING i can on it and he shows alot of it in him. I want to know everything i can so i know what to look for and help him the best i can.

Thu Oct 7 08:06:16 2004 from
Lija Day <fasequine@yahoo.com
From: Colorado, USA
Relationship: Adult

I just want to give some words of encouragement to all that are involved in the FAS community from the teachers and counselors to the survivors, that includes those who have left us. I myself am a survivor of FAS, I may not have the facial diformities, but I have many other medical needs that have been linked to the FAS. Lets get the word out to the world, that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption when you are pregnant and with that FAS is 100% completely preventable.

Thu Oct 7 11:38:18 2004 from
Jennifer Wogomon <jennypcw@yahoo.com
Relationship: student

My nephew and niece were both born with alcohol syndrome they are so physically behind and I wish I could help them besides being a supporting figure.

Mon Oct 11 18:25:46 2004 from
Sheila McGrath <SheilaMcGrath@verizon.net
From: California
Relationship: concerned friend
Child: 17, undiagnosed

I just found this wonderful site today. In 1992 I became friends with my new neighbors. They had two small daughters, S, aged 4 and R, aged 5. The "R" seemed 'different', very small for her age, apparently mentally retarded or developmentally delayed, her facial features seemd a bit 'odd' to me, and her ears seemed a bit low-set. Over time I became familiar with the family and learned their history: Mom was an alcoholic raised by alcoholics, Dad was an alcoholic raised by 'social, cocktail hour' alcoholics, and "R" had been born prematurely and drunk. An official diagnosis of FAS or any related syndrome has never been established for this child. Mom received only one prenatal visit during her pregnancy, just 2 weeks before giving birth.

Over time my partner & I established an "Aunt" relationship with the girls. I became their nanny and daycare provider when their mother died at 33 yrs. old from liver failure and malnutrition. The girls were then 9 and 10. They have gone on vacation, camping, etc. with us, and have spent a lot of time with us as their "safe haven". Dad still drinks, refuses to admit that his daughter has FAS or related problems, and continues to be a less than stellar father.

For our part, we have continually made efforts to run interference, provide an emotionally safe place for the girls to be, model for them responsible, healthy choices for themselves, interact with CPS and other services on their behalf, etc. After all is said and done, the state is finally gearing up to intervene on R's behalf and will be pursuing conservatorship of the person.

I guess this is just my rather long way of saying that efforts in education, child protection, child advocacy, etc. needs to continue. Although strides have been made, there's still more work to be done.

God Bless!

Tue Oct 12 15:41:29 2004 from
Jenny Jackson <jennyjcafn@hotmail.com
From: Yukon, Canada
Relationship: Parent, paraprofessional
Child: 29 and 43 FAS

Hi Teresa It was a pleasure to meet you in Whitehorse. A big HELLO to the FASD Family online! Jenny, Ray, Crystal, & Daniel Jackson

Wed Oct 20 13:57:17 2004 from
ann <groundgirl@hotmail .com
From: IL
Relationship: student
Child: 19

After my 19yr old boyfriend,and i broke up,I started wandering why he never really had alot of friends,and he always hated school. I know now that his mother was the blame,not me.i dont mean that in a bad way.it was just so hard to think about. Ilove him

Thu Oct 21 20:55:43 2004 from
Mark McManus <SAMURAI4GOD@msn.com
From: Montana USA
Relationship: ADULT WITH FAE
Child: Age 43

If you are reading this you have been touched by FAS or FAE. My hearts message for you is to never give up. I know at times you may wonder is it ever going to get better? I want to tell you YES, yes it can. For years I didn't know about my FAE, yet the past was littered with the casualties, divorces, bankruptcies, counseler after counselor, alcoholism, and the growing sense of failure, shame, and inner frustration to the end that I would hate myself. People are so careful these days about not saying the wrong thing for fear of someone getting out of joint, but I will tell you the thing that kept me from taking what seemed the next logical step in hopelessness ie suicide, was knowing that God loved me, that Jesus was my friend and that the dark night would pass. It help up my heart when my mind couldn't put it all together, and others thought I was just being irresponsible.

My wife for almost 8 years now (3rd) marriage has been a blessing. I am one of those whos verbal skills advanced beyond my age even when I was little, yet the many other areas of damage were so apparent. She has helped so much. I can organize bills, like you organize different parts that go into a cake, but when it comes to putting it together in the right way at the right time, I lose it. She has been patient and kind. My kids all love me and have a tender patience with some of my weirdness but they love me. They still laugh about when I took them to school wearing shorts that were really short and sox without shoes. My wife and I will both tell you our faith, has kept us through the storms.

I take medications which help with seratonin levels and focus. I have been in the Martial Arts for 14 years. It helps with focus, breathing, and working on calming. I have gone through many adult scenerios that kids go through at school yet on an adult level. Have had some very painful, embarrasing times, but 3 things keep me going.
* #1. God doesn't make junk and I know my life has value.
* #2. My wife and children are precious and I want to encourage them to never give up.
* #3. I know there are other Adults like me out there with no one to get encouragemnt from an FAE that says..NEVER GIVE UP!

To moms..Your babies are precious don't give up hope.

To teachers, You can be a life changer..but will you. This will stretch you beyond money, beyond career, even beyond your love to teach..It will challenge the very core of your heart to touch a life..If will throw you in front of a mirror deep in your heart and the reflection you will see is you.

To professionals..Keep challenging those who want to live inside the box..PUSH the edge! By the way..a casket is a box.

If you have a spouse with FAE..God bless you.

If your parent has it..God needs you.

Thanks for letting me share.


Sat Oct 23 11:50:54 2004 from
Asaba Owerri <homeboy@yahoo.com
From: lagos

I love this page. It looks really nice. Keep it up

Mon Oct 25 10:27:19 2004 from
Nichele Fugle <Nchele07@aol.com
From: Indiana
Relationship: student

This diease is so sad not only because there is no cure but also because these poor children could have had better because it is completly 100% preventable. It is great that ther are so many good parents out there willing to take in a child that needs them.

Mon Oct 25 10:27:51 2004 from
Lauren Pafford, i am 16 yrs. old <powderpuff_332000@yahoo.com
From: IN
Relationship: Student:Class:Child Development

I was reading your site, because of a assignment that was giving to me by my teacher here at school. I read about Patrichic Rose, the darling baby girl that died when she was born. This is a very tragic story. To those that have to live though this every day, there are those of use that pray for you every day, you are all in my prayers.

Mon Oct 25 10:28:03 2004 from
Amber Scroggin <suga4lyf07@aol.com
From: indiana, kokomo
Relationship: student

wow. These stories were very very heart warming and touching. I know that im only 16 and still a child and i dont understand what these mothers are going through but i send my love and prayers to all of you! I really am happy and proud of u mothers that adopt these children. love amber

Tue Oct 26 15:58:30 2004 from
Ashley <ashli_caron@yahoo.com
From: Maine
Relationship: Student
Child: N/A

Im a Psychology/Social Work student in my 4th yer of college. I am enrolled in a Psychobiology class that expects us to write a paper on topics of interest. I know a child that was born with FAS and I wanted to learn more about it. Thank you for providing a look into these peoples lives. I found myself in tears on some of the stories! Stay Strong :)

Wed Oct 27 11:22:50 2004 from
Eric Crawley <ericc@core.com
From: Michigan
Relationship: Student
Child: 19

The song on this web site is very degrading. It just goes to show that the people who run the web site are not aware that people with FAS are aware of things going on around them.

Thu Oct 28 07:57:34 2004 from
Ettina <ettina@catlover.com

ADHD is not deadly, there is no objective blood test for it and stimulants like Ritalin and Adderall are not naturally occuring in normal people, so the analogy of diabetes and insulin is innaccurate. If diabetes is not treated, the result is DEATH. No matter what the environment is, no matter how well someone cares for them, they will die. It's simple to diagnose, only diabetes causes high blood sugar over a long period of time, whereas plenty of things can cause inattentiveness and hyperactivity(everything from brain tumors to PTSD to normal reactions to boredom or frustration). And stimulant medications are not natural hormones that some people have a deficit of, they are artificial mind-altering chemicals that can have unforeseen effects. In the right environment, any ADHD child would be OK without stimulants. I think stimulants medications are OK for short periods of time when proper environmental adaptation is not possible, but they are not essential the way insulin is for a diabetic. As much as possible, treatment should be based on a) finding the cause, which indicates methods of treatment(if it's lead poisening, detoxing and removing the source of lead, if it's PTSD or attachment disorder, psychotherapy and possibly a short course of antianxiety medications, if it's sleep apnea, treating the obstruction to breathing, etc) and b) making the necessary adjustments to the environment. For example, a child with psychological problems may need to take a break when class gets too stressful, a kinesthetic learner needs information presented kinesthetically, a gifted child needs it presented at their own learning speed, an LD child needs remedial education and modifications to prevent their learning problems from being an impediment, a very energetic child needs more oppurtunity to move, etc. Any of those children may be diagnosed with ADHD and treated with stimulants, but this certainly doesn't reflect their needs.

Mon Nov 1 13:45:17 2004 from
Marilyn Debassige <debassigemarilyn@hotmail.com
From: Ontario
Relationship: Professional

Excellent site. Most helpful

Sat Nov 6 15:40:27 2004 from
Liberty A. Finnegan <krazyliberty@yahoo.com
From: Anchorage,Alaska
Relationship: spouse
Child: 25 , fas

Inned to find help on finding the proper groups that my husband can benfit.

Tue Nov 9 20:19:39 2004 from
Wendi Percha <wpercha@hotmail.com
From: Michigan/United States
Relationship: Guardian/Student
Child: 10,12 FASD/FAE

I thoroughly enjoyed the many articles I found on this website. I believe that no matter how much I read or research I will never totally understand the affects of FAS.

Sat Nov 13 07:11:09 2004 from
Adam <Adam.Ledingham@calgaryhealthregion.ca
From: Alberta Canada
Relationship: Parent
Child: 6 FAE

Very good web site. Hope lots of people read it and learn from it, instead of learning the hard way.

Mon Nov 15 21:51:35 2004 from
Mary <twstdszrs@yahoo.com
From: Mansfield, Ohio
Relationship: Human Services Student

Thank you for the wonderful, heart touching story about John. Teresa, you truly are an angel! There need to be more people, like you, who can open their hearts, minds and lives to children with any type of life-time illness. Keep up the great work on informing others of this horrible disorder!

Wed Nov 17 09:12:56 2004 from
Emma From: UK
Relationship: Student Midwife

An amazing website with some amazing stories of courage and determination. A valuable resource for advising pregnant women on their lifestyle behaviours. Thank you x

Wed Nov 17 13:21:00 2004 from
Dangle Keychain <devine@buffet.com
From: Louisiana/USA
Relationship: Student
Child: 26 FAS

Dear Fas Guestbook readers, I suffer from FAS and I just needed your help. My mama is not very responsive to my diagnosis with FAS. All I want is to go out and participate in such activities as BoyMeet2004, drinking, etc. but she will not allow me to. She insists on staying inside like a hermit, forcing me to a life of visiting men in California and getting married at way to young of an age. Could someone please help me with this FAS problem that I have? Fas.

Fri Nov 19 20:27:48 2004 from
Ruth Brannan <rbrannan@duracom.net
From: Oklahoma
Relationship: parent
Child: 10 fae

I have some questions about fae. Such as social skills and how can they be so smart but don't seem to know about every day life. We have been told he shows signs of austism. Do these seem to overlap. Thanks

Sat Nov 20 13:05:41 2004 from
Tammy <tammy_merlo@bellsouth.net
From: Tennessee
Relationship: parent
Child: 12

I have just recently came across this web site and now I am going to get my soon tested for FAE I think this is why he is having such problems. It is like he has no remorse about anything that he does and never thinks before he acts. Thank you for all the info that I have found on this site.

Sat Nov 20 13:06:52 2004 from
Tammy <tammy_merlo@bellsouth.net
From: Tennessee
Relationship: parent
Child: 12

I have just recently came across this web site and now I am going to get my son tested for FAE I think this is why he is having such problems. It is like he has no remorse about anything that he does and never thinks before he acts. Thank you for all the info that I have found on this site.

Wed Dec 1 13:51:41 2004 from
Christy <dcsr29@yahoo.com
From: ILL
Relationship: parent
Child: 7 and 8

Two years ago I moved to the Springfield Illinois area. I have an adopted son with FAS. I homeschool and would like to find other parents with FAS children in the area that would like to be part of a thinktank on how to better educate and prepare our children for the outside world. We need to inform the communities of the special needs of our children and make other parents aware of our childs circumstance in hopes they will educate their schoolage children with facts not fear or ignornace.

Fri Dec 3 02:14:40 2004 from
pui_s <pui_pui69@hotmail.com
From: Thailand
Relationship: student

This website is very good. It consists of the information which make me know about FAS, it 's cear.

Mon Dec 6 17:57:26 2004 from
Barbara <mojoebear@yahoo.com
From: Missouri
Relationship: Parent
Child: 14 & 15

i am a single mom with 2 teens at home. we dont have much money and im looking for a program that is like the Big Brother Big Sister. if anyone could help me i would be thankfull.we are having alot of problems and i dont know were to turn to..i need some help..thank you

Fri Dec 10 23:11:45 2004 from
Jan Noble <janido1948@aol.com
From: Il. USA
Relationship: PARENT
Child: 15, Fae

This is a wonderful web site so glad I found it. Has answered many questions. My husband & I have been raising our grandaughter since she was 15mos. old

Fri Dec 10 23:21:10 2004 from
Jan Noble <janido1948@aol.com
From: Il. USA
Relationship: PARENT
Child: 15, Fae

This is a wonderful web site so glad I found it. Has answered many questions. My husband & I have been raising our grandaughter since she was 15mos. old. She began having behavorial problems 2yrs ago then it progressed to drug use & eventually criminal involvement. We are at our wits end. She's been in 4 rehabs & served time in Juvenile det. 3 times. Nothing seems to get thru to her. We want to keep her safe & find her Help! Does anyone know of any long term residential Home that deals with FAE teens. Plese let me know as soon as possible so that we can have the info for court coming up next week. Thank you--Jan

Sun Dec 12 12:30:43 2004 from
Justine Barnett From: Scotland
Relationship: Student

This website was great in helping me understand and complete an essay on prenatal alcohol exposure for my 'biological foundations of behaviour' module as part of my degree. It has made me very aware of how crucial and extremely important it is for mothers to abstain from alcohol during pregnancy as their is no safe amount or quantity of alcohol that mothers can consume and so it's best to avoid alcohol completely. I have no children but hope to in the future and this website has definetely encouraged me not to have one single drink during pregnancy!

Mon Dec 13 13:24:07 2004 from
Verna Booth <verna@snap.bc.ca
From: B. C. Canada
Relationship: Professional
Child: full range of ages

I would like to make you aware of our book entitled "Living with FASD, a Guide for Parents" 3rd edition (2004) Please go to our web site www.snap.bc.ca to see where you can order the book over the net and using Pay Pal to pay for the book. Verna

Tue Dec 14 13:07:47 2004 from
Laura Clark <clarkist@excite.com
From: MN
Relationship: Professional and Parent
Child: 3, prenatal opiate exposure

My name is Laura Clark and I am working on my master's in SPED. I am working with Project SOS (Seeds of Success) through the MN chapter of NAFAS on a teaching guide with tips and skills for educators. If any one has information they would be willing to share with me about their education experiences both good and bad and any teaching tips you find work great with your child, I would love to hear from you! Please e-mail me at:clarkist@excite.com and I would put you in my book! (I can also have you be anonymous). I am also the mother of a 3 year old who was prenatally exposed to opiates. I see a lot of similar behavior concerns as parents of kids with FASD...

Tue Dec 14 21:43:17 2004 from
Marissa <mlthom@hotmail.com
From: Alberta, Canada
Relationship: Foster Care Parent
Child: 2 years fasd

This web site was so heart warming to see that these children were not born in vain. I believe that God has a special plan for all of them, and that in their own way they all succed. May the Lord always walk with them, hold them when they need to be held, and love them for all that they teach us.

Mon Dec 20 09:28:11 2004 from
leslie van de Ven <leslievandeven@hotmail.com
From: California USA
Relationship: professional
Child: no children

Hello. I've started working with kids in my nieghborhood, who don't get along well with their families. Some are from drug addicted parents. One was diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder. It's been interesting to discover - when I was in my thirties, my sister told me, that my own Mother drank when she was pregnant with me (1953), and she was killed in a drunk driving accident when I was nine (1963). So it has been a real continuum. It almost feels like the accident was bound to happen because of my parents argumentative marriage and their drinking. My father was a Navy officer back then, in 1963.

I don't drink out of prespect for what happened to her. But I am like a "dry drunk". I never gor pregnant, although i acted out sexually throughout my early years and into adult hood. I have been married sixteen years to a wonderful compassionate man. He discovered early on that I needed a "low stimulus" environment. He calls himself "boring". He is a professional, a physical therapist and understands physical rehab really well. He says I have taught him about psychological rehab as well. I am a nurse, but I was very inapproprate on my job, making errors and crying all the time. I am bipolar. I was on lithium but it amde me sick from thyroid problems and kidney problems. I have a high IQ, can learn but don't ask me to perform on the job. I just can't do it. And it never got better no matter how much therapy I paid for! Myself!

I do art work at home now - I earned a degree in art from UC DAvis. And I spend my days with my dog, an aussie shepherd mix I rescued from the pound. I have had her five and a half years. She is my "external" brain as my friend Amber calls herself with her FAS kids. She is a working dog and responds to every move I make. I love her so much. She is my kid.

Oh, this invisible handicap is rotten. Even when you have the ability to learn, it doesn't "gel", as one of my psychiatrists noticed about me. I never learned anything when I would acto out especially sexual acting out. It just kept on and on. Most people learn when they get burned - I would repeat the same behavior over and over. And my BRAIN hurts most of the time. I had an MRI done to see if I have a pituitary tumor but everything was normal. I felt terrible for paying for the darn thing. My balance is off, and I know something is terribly off with me, although it is subtle.

Some of the "soft signs" clearly define me. And being so self centered is sickening, as a matter of survival.

I volunteer for MADD, and do a lot of work with elderly people, too. So I stay somewhat connected to my environment. But the subtle damage is there, I can feel it. And people have notived it through out my life. "Earth to Leslie!"... was a phrase I often heard. Sexual acting out really spaced me out, even just kissing a friend would send me into "outer space". And the arguments at home were horrible, especially after my Mother died, and my father remarried, and I became a teen ager. He really went after me physically and verbally after he got married a second time. Everyone would say "But your father is just a nice man!". Oh man. THAT would just make me hurt all the more. Why coulnd't I see how nice he was? Why wasn't he nice to me?

Any thoughts on this by anyone out there? I am fifty one and never had kids. I just didn't want to put a child through what I have been through. My father WAS very abusive, verbally and physically. I got married at age thirty four after dating so many men it was ridiculous. But I am blessed with a good person I married. I just hope and pray he feels the same. Mrs. Leslie Van de Ven, RN, BA

Wed Dec 22 14:13:53 2004 from
Nancy <nferranc@winston.com
From: New York
Relationship: Parent
Child: 11 1/2 (FAS/E)

I was wondering when is a good time to try and explain to my daughter about her condition. She already knows about her bio-mother's drinking and she knows that she has some problems. She's on medication and she reminds me to give it to her each day (she's been on meds for about one month and seems to be doing better).

Sat Dec 25 07:27:54 2004 from
Mary Hensley <tnbaby2000@yahoo.com
From: tn
Relationship: parent-i have fas
Child: birth

yes love you all's website, just searching for somewhere to diagnose me get me started on help assistance, etc. I have a 6 year old daughter, really would like to stay home and put her thru school while hubby is working away from home, can't drive, really dont want to drive too scared to, just need some direction don't have insurance, really cant afford it. So if anyone could help me in any way please email me.

Tue Dec 28 01:44:17 2004 from
peter s
Relationship: student


I was born with a name
whose got a strong fame.
He was a saint and I am to become one,
but there's something totally unknown.
He lied thrice in front of Jesus
then realize the meaning of fate.
The fate he realize couldn't be changed
because by then it was too late.

My fate was chosen by the name
that was given by my parents before I came.
My memories at young age is very vague.
But when I recall it, my thoughts ache.
I have bad memories for my childhood.
I have hurt my friends and family in any way.
By lying, forgetting, and ignoring,
I made my chances of heaven to flee away.

Now I know I have to face my fate
because I know I cannot escape.
I must do whatever to escape hell,
but I hate my fate and want to yell.
I am so scared and frightened
because I don't know what to do or what to say.
What's for sure is that I must go through it
all alone and all the way.

FAS Community Resource Center