I am jealous of the mothers of all the healthy babies.

I am jealous of the easy parenting my cousins have had.

I am envious that they can carry on conversation with other adults,

That their children are in gymnastics

And do all the things regular kids do.

I really do make the best lemonade out of the lemons,

But sometimes I have so many lemons

That it's hard to figure out what to do with them all!

I should be thankful that I even had moments of adult encounters,

But I am not.

I hate this FAS stuff sometimes.

I hate lipstick on my new clothes from her kisses.

I don't mind the kisses.

I hate finding my kitchen knives in her purse.

I hate having a stretched two year old in a very womanly body!

-- Jodee Kulp July 29, 2000

Grieving the Loss of the Dream