My Life

by Randy

The dragon within me
wants to release all it's anger and pain
while the knight in me
relentlessly battles it
to stay calm, kind, loving and proper.
Each has it's own victories and losses.
Each never resting
forever battling within this soul.
Each trying to finally beat the other.
When will it end??
Time will only tell.

I have many emotional burdens,
I lie, steal, con, abuse
and cause havoc in almost every life I touch.
I sometimes think if I were to
go somewhere else
it would solve lots of problems
but it wouldn't.
It would all come back.

I have lied to almost everybody
including the ones I love.
I am ashamed of it
but can never take back the words
because words once said, are gone
and can't be retrieved.
I've lied to myself and
don't know when to trust myself
and as I said once,
when you can't trust yourself
- who can you trust?
I hope I shall find that someone soon.

(This was written at 2 AM)

© 1999-2001 Douglas Randy McDonald

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