About Mothers of Children with FAS/E

In this man's opinion, it is not about blame, it is about LOVE. A hard look at Mothers of fas/e children: For as long as there has been alcohol, there have been fas/e children. They have been pointed at, discriminated against at home and in school, pointed at, and labeled "the problem." Some of these children grew up with little self esteem, pre-disposed to alcohol, and used it to medicate their pain, pain caused by a society with little or no understanding for what this child of yesterday is going through, and has gone through. Now for some of these children, mothers of fas/e children themselves, the cycle continues. And I still hear others blaming them, for lack of knowledge about the addictive process, and unwillingness to take their heads out of the sand, blaming the victim for the crime. From time to time, I see/hear a codependent (nothing implied) who, via their own addiction, take one of these now-labeled fas/e children and complain about their Mothers, the school systems and society, as if society is something which is separate from them, all the while needing others' approval for their benevolence. Then when this high of their latest addictive behavior lessens to the reality, the child is gone. On to the next high. Mothers of fas/e children do not need fingers pointed at them, or someone's destructive, codependent addictive behavior (just another addiction). They need respect, care, education, choices, support (as does the codependent). For it is not "but for the grace of God there go I"... it is I am that person. Regards, Larry (reprinted here with permission)